There’s a knot in my stomach because I’d rather keep these words hidden in my journal, but I think I need to post them. God, I send these words out in your name, that they may land where you will have these seeds planted.
Some relationships cannot and should not be restored this side of heaven.
When David cried out to God for mercy, God forgave him. But he did not erase the consequences. Grace runs freely; consequences remain.
Sometimes a broken relationship remains a safeguard for everyone involved: if it is fixed, then the people involved could overlook, forget, or minimize the shrapnel of a battle scene.
There is a reason we remember. Grace abounds. Consequences remain.
Forgiveness is not restoration. And some relationships cannot be restored this side of heaven.
Tricia, I believe people who have lost a spouse have an unwritten understanding with others who have lost a spouse that can actually help one another heal. That understanding is that no matter what you say, no matter how “shocking” or unbelievable, it’s just plain welcome, accepted, and understood. Widows/widowers have that kind of power with one another. I’m not as graceful a writer as you are, so I hope you know what I mean.
So, saying that, I tell you now that I appreciate you saying that these thoughts you had were a hard thing to reveal to the universe. Also, I thank you for saying them. A (very small) part of me was questioning my decision to cut my late husband’s toxic sister (my daughter’s aunt) out of our lives. Reading your words makes me realize I am making the right choice and I will not look back. Thank you.
I totally agree.
Thanks Tricia, after an incident this week, and now reading this, I have finally given it completely to the Lord, Forgiven, but not forgotten. Your words have helped me to break away and not let it bother me any more. Thank you Lord for allowing this post to come across my desk this morning.
Amen! I just wish everyone understood that.
Thank you for posting this. I think these words landed where God intended. I feel a huge sense of freedom.
WOW Just wow.
Amen! Amen! and AaaaaMmmmmmEeeeeeeeNnnnnnn!!
Living your words right now. Forgiveness does not equal restoration. And setting up healthy, necessary boundaries in a badly bruised relationship should be a step toward restoration. But when those boundaries are not welcomed and constantly tested (by a spouse) then restoration is not possible. To add to your comment “grace flows freely” yet consequences remain…my pastor affirmed my similar thoughts with this quote – ” the law had to come first for grace to abound. You have to look into the mirror of the law in order to see how far gone you are, repent of your sin and then only then does grace flow freely.” I wrote it down and have it taped to my kitchen window where I see it daily. Now I think I will add your words too.
I hope that knot in your stomach is maybe turned into a smile after realizing how your private journal thoughts have resonated with me tonight. Thank you, thank you.
Wow, and this side of heaven you will not know how much I needed to read this. God knew.