My Kids Hate My Hair

I’m big on Women’s Lib when it comes to hair. I think it’s ultimately her decision, since the hair resides, after all, on her scalp.

“But Tricia, don’t you think marriage is a team effort? Don’t you think it’s a joint decision?”

I’d say I’m 55%/45% on the percentages of authority over her hair, the extra 5% belonging to the girl.

I mean, it’s her hair. Sure, she can choose to keep it long if that’s what he loves, and if she loves it (or even likes it) long also, then that’s not really a sacrifice. And to be fair, I kept mine long for a lot of years because the man in my life adored the curly locks. So I can’t say I haven’t been swayed by the opinion

But if a girl wants to cut her hair, I think she should do it.

I made a dramatic change in hairstyle: seven inches of dramatic change. And I.Love.It.

My kids hate it.

Tyler actually booed me in the salon. “Boo, Mommy. Blech.”

“Tyler, let’s have a little talk about girls. Someday you’ll have one of your very own, and she needs to be allowed to wear her hair however she chooses. Maybe long, maybe short, maybe long and short – whatever she chooses. And even if you don’t love it, you will love her, so it’s a great idea to have something kind to say about how she looks. So, let’s try this again. What do you think of my hair, Tyler?”

He hesitated. “Boo.”

Okay, then.

Dear future daughter-in-law, I’m working hard on this for you. Taking one for the team, if you will.

Tucker climbed into bed with me that night (which, first of all, please go back to your own bed), and in his groggy state, he said, “Mommy, you just look so weird.”

Excellent.

I attended a stellar birthday bash last weekend for a friend’s 50th (at which there was a most charming centerpiece bouquet of Tootsie Pops with a sign that said “Fifty Sucks”), and when I came down the stairs to depart as the babysitter arrived, I foolishly said, “Well, guys? What do you think?”

They gave me a once over.

“Mommy, I just really do not like that hair. I do not.”

Well, I do. The hair stays.

The good news is, so does the girl.

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17 thoughts on “My Kids Hate My Hair

  1. It’s gorgeous. It’s fun. It’s different (and that’s the part they don’t like). YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

  2. it looks wonderful! change is invigorating – it helps to have great hair (like you!). I’m sure your boys will love it too…before too long :). I remember cutting my very long hair very short one year, and my (then) 3 yr old wanted to know what I did with her mom! lol

  3. My theory is that kids are incredibly like old people, they get cranky when their meals are not on time and they do NOT like change. I love your hair cut and I am sure in time, they will appreciate it too!

  4. Oh kids and hair. When my son was under the age of two, he would cry when I wore a ponytail. I continuously grow my hair out and then cut it so they are getting used to the cycle but they still let me know their displeasure everytime I get it cut short. Looks adorable!

  5. Amen!!!! It’s up to the girl! It looks great Tricia! You’ve always had such beautiful curls.

  6. Hi! So I just started reading your blog and love it. I love that you share the ups, downs and even the funny times. Just a thought about the new hair, I think it is adorable! However, I didn’t grow up seeing you every day looking a certain way and then it is just different one day. What I am trying to say is that I remember when my mom got only 4 inches cut from her hair, when I was about 8 years old. Yes, it was that big of a deal to me!

    I remember now that I had all these mixed emotions and wondering if it would somehow change her as a person. Which seems ridiculous now , but then I just attached hair to personality and if Moms hair was changing, oh goodness, what else might change about her? I adored my mother and by extension I even started thinking well should I change my hair? Anyways, maybe the hair thing isn’t so much an issue of not liking how it looks and more of a unsure about change thing?

    Of course you know your kids better than anyone! :) I don’t have any yet, but I do teach Kindergarten and one of the hardest things for them is change. Even if it is good change and even if it is small! :) I had students who didn’t like it if I moved the markers to a new spot without explaining it to them first and including them In the decision, by helping them understand why those markers that were always on the board since the beginning of time were now going in a more organized bin. The good news is that with a little explanation all is usually well. :) I have even asked them if they don’t like it because it is In a new spot and had a little girl once loudly say “yes! How will we find them?!”. The poor girl was truly concerned that moving them would cause her not to remember where they were and then how would she find them to do her morning work?

    Of course I changed things often and told them it was important to get used to change because it will happen all the time and sometimes they won’t know why. Which led to a great conversation about things that change in their lives and how they felt about it. Everything from changing their bedroom color to moving to a new house and sometimes huge changes like divorce in their families or death. It was especially good for students to hear the changes their classmates were going through so they could understand one another better and often make them feel blessed that their changes were not the same and then be there for their friends to lift them up through really tough changes.

    It might it not be just about likes and dislikes! Maybe there is a lot more to it than you shared, which I totally understand and respect, just hoping to share a different perspective.

    Enjoy all the changes in your life today and especially learn from the bad, because God always has good in store for us, one way or another!

    Thank you for your blog!

    Jenny Palisano

  7. Your hair is adorable! And remember, these are opinion of the boys who peel their oranges with the toenail clippers. Their opinion is suspect until they refine their standards!

  8. By the way, I am Paul First’s cousin and have been reading your blog for quite some time. You rock!

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