On Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day.

Happy, happy, happiest of days, happy Mother’s Day.

That’s what they’re all saying this weekend, the TV, radio, Hallmark commercials: Happy Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is presented as the climactic holiday for all things maternal, the icing on the cake of of motherhood.

And for many people, perhaps this is true.

It’s Mom’s day to have breakfast in bed,
a handmade card,
perhaps a macaroni necklace,
and one day’s free pass from changing diapers.

But Mother’s Day isn’t joyful for everyone.
In fact, I dare say Mother’s Day carries heartache for many more people than we often acknowledge.
Mother’s Day is joyful for some, but it’s painful for many, many others.

Perhaps you are one of the many, many others.

Maybe you are a mother,
you have children to celebrate you and whom you celebrate on this day.
But maybe you’re not enjoying this particular season of motherhood; maybe you’re just crazy exhausted because this is so much harder than you thought it would be.
Maybe you went to church this morning only because they offer free childcare.

Perhaps Mother’s Day is difficult for you because you are not a mother, and you desperately wish to be. I imagine perhaps you are sick and tired of listening to mothers talk about how weary and tired they are from the tasks of parenting, because you would give everything to have that reason for fatigue.

Maybe you have a history of infertility,
wanting children,
unable to have them.
Perhaps you know too well the aches of miscarriage, stillbirth,
the loss of a child.

Perhaps you have a wayward son or daughter,
and your heart aches for reconciliation.

Perhaps Mother’s Day is difficult for you because of your relationship with your mother.
Maybe you recently lost your mom,
or perhaps you lost her many years ago but it’s especially difficult this year.

Maybe the relationship is broken.
Perhaps you lost her before you could right some wrongs,
apologize for some harsh words.
Or perhaps the opposite is true –
perhaps she died before she made things right with you.

Maybe Mother’s Day brings heartache to you because of the issues related to adoption.
Maybe you gave birth to a child who is growing up in someone else’s arms and home.
Or maybe you were adopted as a child, and you have many questions on Mother’s Day, including who your biological mother is.

My heart aches with you today. Mother’s Day isn’t what I thought it would be for me, either.

God, you are near to the brokenhearted, you hold those who are crushed in spirit. Man of Sorrows, you know this day inside and out.

Breath of heaven, hold us together.
Mend our hearts.
Meet us in our sadness.

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10 thoughts on “On Mother’s Day

  1. And celebrating God’s provision to give you the mom he did knowing that only she could share in your brokenness as she does and help hold those shattered pieces of her baby only long enough unroll you are able to hold them again yourself. The mothers of the broken are the most needed mothers of all. Thank you God for knowing that and providing such special ones

  2. This was so beautifully written.. I fall into many of those categories and that was like a balm.. thank you .. and I hope you are able to enjoy your Mother’s Day and all you mean to those boys!

  3. happy mothers day to ty and tuck’s little mama….love terry

    maybe i should make a post for MY mom and maybe perhaps the dry spell will be broken!!..i must get back to blogging…. and not only READING your wonderful post dear tricia but commenting!!
    love terry

  4. I wanted to thank you for your beautiful post. Mother’s day hits me harder than most. Like you described, I am one who has lost through miscarriage. I should have been a mother to a 1 month old today, but I’m not. I chose not to go to church because I couldn’t celebrate. Your post has brought tears to my eyes, I thank you for joining me in my sadness. I can only imagine how difficult this day & many others are for you. I wish I could offer you words, like you have me, but I can’t. All I can say is, happy mothers day. You are a beautiful mother to those children & offer strength to many faces you can’t see, like mine. May you find comfort in knowing that.

  5. Thank you for those meaningful, loving words. You have a beautiful spirit of caring for others who might be hurting. Bless you. MOM

  6. I am so sorry Tricia. I was thinking my daughter, Krista, wrote this on her blog. But the words I wrote still apply. PATTI

  7. Thanks for this post.
    This was my first Mother’s Day without my daughter. She left for Home last October.
    I read your blog often ~ your words resonate deeply in this aching momma’s heart.

  8. It’s hard for many. My heart breaks for a friend who always wanted a child, but it didn’t happen for her~ at least not in the conventional sense. A friend whose mom died Wed and was buried Sat. My stepmom who got “the call” Mother’s Day morning eight years ago~ her oldest son (41) had been killed in a car accident and his younger brother died four years later (also 41). My husband’s Gammy who has buried two of her six children and two young grandsons (both 27), been estranged from another son for decades and made the painful decision to admit to a nursing care facility after 98 years of living independently. I also have a friend whose ex-wife has buried both of her sons (he has another son left). Sad, sad day for many!

  9. Wow, that was amazing! Thank you so much! I’m printing that one out! Fondly, Raena

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